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Archive for the ‘entertainment’ Category

If it has the word "last" or "remember"... someone definitely kicks the bucket

Let’s face it: when Hollywood finds a cow that produces they milk it until its dead on the ground. Like Nicholas Sparks for instance. This mediocre 44-year-old romance writer has spawned some of the most successful sap-fests in recent Hollywood history. Everyone cried in A Walk to Remember, and The Notebook is notoriously tissue-worthy. But I’m starting to get bored. Super bored, in fact. Miley Cyrus can do that to you…

8 Easy Steps to Writing a Nicholas Sparks Novel

1. There must be young-people in love. Or old-people in love. Or both

2. Society won’t like it. A rich girl and a poor boy? That storyline is brand spankin’ new!

3. Someone needs to die, be dying, or have some sort of incurable disease. This is a big thing for Nick. Seriously, in every single story someone has cancer, autism, dementia… you get the idea.

4. There must be an old house. It has a lot of history, and it might even be a fixer-upper. What a great thing to spend your dying days doing.

5. Someone needs to lose their virginity. Preferably the young-people in love.

6. It helps if in the film version, you cast a well-known pop sensation or American Sweetheart. It also helps if their names start with M. (Mandy Moore, Miley Cyrus, Rachel McAdams)

7. Beaches must be present and key parts of the story (if you’re curious which books this is true for… its every single one).

8. Similar to the need for beaches in is the need for Carnivals. These are, apparently, the most romantic places in the world. In my experience toothless carnies spitting tobacco on you isn’t really that romantic, but to each his own.

9. Letters, journals, etc should be written in copious amounts and left in bottles or in …. notebooks maybe? Or in songs? Last Songs perhaps?

See, now we can save poor Nick some time and write our very own novels for Hollywood to rip off and make millions off of.

Get crackin’, readers!


I want more! More I say!

Well, the Vancouver 2010 Olympics are over, but the memories will live on for Canadians for a long time to come. Not only did we break records, but we had some truly amazing moments. Read on for this Canadian Girl’s countdown of the best moments of these Olympic Games.
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Roger Ebert is my hero.

He has been for many years, in fact, since I watched him review films on Ebert and Roeper as a teen. I wanted to be like him, a critic. I was lucky enough to actually live that dream a little in my short life, but no one can even touch Ebert when it comes to professional accomplishments. He has published countless books, received several honours, changed the world of film criticism forever, and inspired generations to love movies again. But now, he is facing a fight for his life. A fight which has cost him something he is perhaps best known for (except his thumbs perhaps): his voice.

Roger Ebert on the cover of Esquire

The idea is horrifying: a critic literally losing his voice. However, Ebert is everything but silenced. His voice, while audibly absent still lives on in his writing. RogertEbert.com features up-to-date reviews of recent films, and he is also a featured columnist for the Sun Times. Ebert recently exhibited the utmost bravery in revealing to the world his face for an interview in Esquire.

Some might call it monstrous, others might call it honest, but it is nonetheless the reality for Ebert now. He speaks through a computer, and through notes he writes. Supported by his wife Chaz, Ebert remains a very key member of the film world.

Many say Ebert is dying; he prefers to think of things more optimistically. While his time with us may be limited, his impact is not. His passions, and opinions, will live on forever in his writing, his television series’, and his trademarked “thumbs up”.

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