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Archive for the ‘popular culture’ Category

If it has the word "last" or "remember"... someone definitely kicks the bucket

Let’s face it: when Hollywood finds a cow that produces they milk it until its dead on the ground. Like Nicholas Sparks for instance. This mediocre 44-year-old romance writer has spawned some of the most successful sap-fests in recent Hollywood history. Everyone cried in A Walk to Remember, and The Notebook is notoriously tissue-worthy. But I’m starting to get bored. Super bored, in fact. Miley Cyrus can do that to you…

8 Easy Steps to Writing a Nicholas Sparks Novel

1. There must be young-people in love. Or old-people in love. Or both

2. Society won’t like it. A rich girl and a poor boy? That storyline is brand spankin’ new!

3. Someone needs to die, be dying, or have some sort of incurable disease. This is a big thing for Nick. Seriously, in every single story someone has cancer, autism, dementia… you get the idea.

4. There must be an old house. It has a lot of history, and it might even be a fixer-upper. What a great thing to spend your dying days doing.

5. Someone needs to lose their virginity. Preferably the young-people in love.

6. It helps if in the film version, you cast a well-known pop sensation or American Sweetheart. It also helps if their names start with M. (Mandy Moore, Miley Cyrus, Rachel McAdams)

7. Beaches must be present and key parts of the story (if you’re curious which books this is true for… its every single one).

8. Similar to the need for beaches in is the need for Carnivals. These are, apparently, the most romantic places in the world. In my experience toothless carnies spitting tobacco on you isn’t really that romantic, but to each his own.

9. Letters, journals, etc should be written in copious amounts and left in bottles or in …. notebooks maybe? Or in songs? Last Songs perhaps?

See, now we can save poor Nick some time and write our very own novels for Hollywood to rip off and make millions off of.

Get crackin’, readers!

I want more! More I say!

Well, the Vancouver 2010 Olympics are over, but the memories will live on for Canadians for a long time to come. Not only did we break records, but we had some truly amazing moments. Read on for this Canadian Girl’s countdown of the best moments of these Olympic Games.
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I thought everyone had twitter. I’m starting to realize I may be wrong.

I was once like you. I hated Twitter, hated the idea of it really, but also just didn’t want to leave my soft warm comfort zone that is Facebook. Well, since I’m not going to add my readers to Facebook (that’s a stalking waiting to happen), I would love it if you would follow me on Twitter.

If you don’t already have Twitter, or don’t understand it, here’s a brief summary of what it does.

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Sometimes they actually do have great programming. Even socially relevant programming. Dare I say it, they’re making thoughtful docs on real issues. You may all have an opinion of MTV’s production value after seeing the abysmal Jersey Shore (see below), but I actually still have faith in they’re potential.

Exhibit A: Teen Mom.

Maci tries to study, but son Bentley wants to play

The show began as 16 and Pregnant, a Juno inspired doc that chronicled the lives of a half-dozen pregnant teens as they struggled to decide what to do with their unborn children. Most chose to keep them, one chose adoption, but all the stories were moving. It got a lot of flack as pandering to the lowest common denominator, glorifying teen pregnancy or simply just exploiting these young girls, but I think it did nothing of the sort.

Far from abandoning the story after the babies were born, MTV created a new, even more popular series called Teen Mom. It follows these moms as they attempt to adjust to life after their decision to keep their children (or in Catelynn’s case, give it up for adoption). It shows girls the consequences of their actions, and inspires confidence rather than pity.

The finale was last week and a reunion show is scheduled to air this week, however you can watch all episodes of 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom on MTV.ca or MTV.com.

Literally, I was awoken last night by a nightmare of epic proportions-

I was on… THE JERSEY SHORE.

The cast of MTV's "Jersey Shore"

Sweet God it was terrifying. There was self-tanner, big hair and disgusting sexual escapades. Perhaps what was most terrifying was the knowledge that this was anything but a figment of my imagination: it’s a show on MTV.

Don’t watch this show. I watched one episode (ONE!) and I felt my brain matter start to boil and run out my ear.

The cast is an array of New Jersey guido and guidette stereotypes. Their names are as ridiculous as they appearance: Snooki, The Situation, Sammi Sweetheart, J-Woww, Pauly D, and the two normal-named ones Ronnie and Vinny. The only real pleasure can be found by watching the borderline-midget Snooki get socked in the jaw. I am a firm advocate for women’s rights, and this guy should not have punched her, but it feels so good to watch.

Also, people are pissed about the stereotype that they’re supporting. But MTV isn’t really in the wrong here: these people are obviously caricatures. I have a feeling most viewers will recognize that there can’t be an entire state of people this idiotic in existence, or there would be at the very least a high occurence of melanoma. Not to mention, I’m sure their state test scores would be alarming.

For a giggle, check out Alyssa Milano transforming herself  into a Jersey Shore Clone for Funny or Die.

And you thought The Hills was bad…

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! (For me at least). Every year my favourite day in Februrary is NOT Valentines day (ew, ew, ew) but the Oscars. The Oscars are my Superbowl, and I never miss them.

This years hosts were announced, and its a double-feature. Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin, stars of the new sub-par romcom along-side my demi-goddess, Meryl Streep. Steve Martin has already hosted the awards twice, but this is Baldwin’s first go at it.

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