Kate B 1-2-3

Posts Tagged ‘Toronto

In this new segment, we will tell our worst TTC stories. Feel free to submit them to me as well, I love a good TTC story.

“The Greedy Bum”

They say beggars can’t be choosers, but some beggars can be a little picky. Case in point: the greedy bum who hangs out near the Bay station. Not content with spare change, this drunken giant (he’s quite tall, it’s a little alarming) can be found screaming and unsuspecting smokers at the front doors of their office buildings demanding they give him a puff of their cigarette.

Um… ew?

I can understand they might not be that concerned with swine flu when they have to worry about food and water and a safe place to sleep, but does your drunk ass think people are going to share their cigarettes with someone who’s crapped himself?

I think not.

He then proceeded to follow me down the subway (I am a bit of a crazy magnet) and mumble to himself, and somehow got onto the platform. He then began to violently fake-cough. This seemed counter intuitive for someone trying to beg for CIGARETTES.

Robitussin.

Just another day on the TTC.

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My dear baby brother Jamie is currently residing in Toronto (jealous much?) while he attends school, and has taken to sharing his most hilarious public transportation stories with me. I will hence publish them here, as they are not only unbelievably funny, but undeniably true. Todays story shall be called:

jesus-thumps-up11

"Ehhhhh!"

The Power of Christ Compels You!

When: Last week

Where: TTC Bus

As my brother sits on the bus, an old man nearby coughs violently. Jamie watches concernedly, as the man seems like he might kick it at any time. As he runs through his First Aid training in his mind, Jamie notices a man sitting near the older man, looking at him. He is dressed entirely in black, with combat boots and a trench coat, and has long hair and a long beard. Eventually, as the old man still coughs, the man in the trench coat gets up to exit the bus. As he does so, he brushes against the old man, who promptly stops coughing.As my brother, a religious man, looks on in awe, the strange long-haired man turns to the older gentleman, smiles and says,

“You’re welcome”

He then leaves the bus.Please turn your hymn books to page 30.

What if God was one of us?

Just a slob like one of us?

Just a stranger on the bus,

Tryin’ to make his way home…

Funny, Joan Osbourne never mentioned the trench coat and combat boots…

-Kate

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Free Accomodations in Central Toronto
Date Listed 27-Oct-09
Price Free
Address 5 min walk to Eglinton West TTC Station, Toronto, ON, Canada
View map
Bathrooms (#) 1 bathroom

1-2 bedrooms available with private bathroom, kitchen and living room.
Includes internet, cable and private parking.

Accommodation is FREE to 1-2 open-minded attractive females.

—————————————————————————————————-

Open minded eh? I don’t think he’s talking about his political leanings, but maybe thats just me…

*ponders*

Nope… I think my desire to save money has a definite limit, and this might be it.  

– Kate

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1787185You guessed it, Lydia, its Toronto!

Why did I make Toronto my banner city, you ask? Why not new york or perhaps even Ottawa, the city I’m currently in?

Well because I’m a dreamer, folks. And I like my pictures to mean something. I’ll get to the cherry blossoms later!

I want more than ANYTHING to move to Toronto. I’m done school, which I attended in a town that made me feel even more isolated than the suburbs (I’m not kidding), but with the added charm of heroin addicts following you home. I’m not exaggerating…

Why do I want to go to Toronto? Well as a writer who specializes in film and popular culture, Ottawa is not really the place to be. There are 40 publishing houses, dozens of publications and hundreds of production companies in Toronto, and I’m determined to work at one of them (all of them can also expect my resume in the mail sometime during the next month).

The thing that’s killing me is that I’m a doer… I know that’s not a word but please, focus. I hate the idea of not having something exciting to do next, not having exciting things happening around me. I LOVE the job I work at now, the people are amazing and the work isn’t hard, but that might be part of the problem. I have always had an intense desire to be challenged, and have since I was about 5 years old. I remember hating grade 8 (for many reasons) but one of them was that I was finished my work before everyone else. So I fucked around in the back and hated life, and called my teacher a dumb ass once… and since I was the goody two shoes for the past 8 years, he didn’t even punish me! He believed me…. I was telling the truth too.

Some people might take this as my being unable to live in the moment. I’d partially agree, but at least I’m not living in the past anymore, right? I’m always looking to the next thing, always wanting to move forward, to do better, to do more, and I think that’s generally a good trait. So, people reading from Toronto, look out! Also, if you know any good steals on 1 bedroom apartments, let me know!

So, all my fellow readers, what are your goals? Where do you see yourselves in 5 years? I feel corny saying it, but I know I’m not alone in wanting to be that fabulous woman in a pencil skirt and blouse walking down the sidewalk looking important. I want to sit in a coffee shop going over a briefing and have people think, wow… she did something right. Not sitting in my sweats, chubby and dirty looking (aka NOW) and have people think, note to self….

– Kate B.

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