Kate B 1-2-3

Posts Tagged ‘TTC

In this new segment, we will tell our worst TTC stories. Feel free to submit them to me as well, I love a good TTC story.

“The Greedy Bum”

They say beggars can’t be choosers, but some beggars can be a little picky. Case in point: the greedy bum who hangs out near the Bay station. Not content with spare change, this drunken giant (he’s quite tall, it’s a little alarming) can be found screaming and unsuspecting smokers at the front doors of their office buildings demanding they give him a puff of their cigarette.

Um… ew?

I can understand they might not be that concerned with swine flu when they have to worry about food and water and a safe place to sleep, but does your drunk ass think people are going to share their cigarettes with someone who’s crapped himself?

I think not.

He then proceeded to follow me down the subway (I am a bit of a crazy magnet) and mumble to himself, and somehow got onto the platform. He then began to violently fake-cough. This seemed counter intuitive for someone trying to beg for CIGARETTES.

Robitussin.

Just another day on the TTC.

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My dear baby brother Jamie is currently residing in Toronto (jealous much?) while he attends school, and has taken to sharing his most hilarious public transportation stories with me. I will hence publish them here, as they are not only unbelievably funny, but undeniably true. Todays story shall be called:

jesus-thumps-up11

"Ehhhhh!"

The Power of Christ Compels You!

When: Last week

Where: TTC Bus

As my brother sits on the bus, an old man nearby coughs violently. Jamie watches concernedly, as the man seems like he might kick it at any time. As he runs through his First Aid training in his mind, Jamie notices a man sitting near the older man, looking at him. He is dressed entirely in black, with combat boots and a trench coat, and has long hair and a long beard. Eventually, as the old man still coughs, the man in the trench coat gets up to exit the bus. As he does so, he brushes against the old man, who promptly stops coughing.As my brother, a religious man, looks on in awe, the strange long-haired man turns to the older gentleman, smiles and says,

“You’re welcome”

He then leaves the bus.Please turn your hymn books to page 30.

What if God was one of us?

Just a slob like one of us?

Just a stranger on the bus,

Tryin’ to make his way home…

Funny, Joan Osbourne never mentioned the trench coat and combat boots…

-Kate

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